Amy Poehler Quotes

“There are lots of 'firsts' like this in life, little flashpoints here and there when you’re unknowingly becoming a woman. And it’s not the clichéd sh*t, like when you have your first kiss or drive your first car.

You become a woman the first time you stand up for yourself when they get your order wrong at a diner, or when you first realize your parents are full of sh*t. You become a woman the first time you get fitted for a bra and realize you’ve been wearing a very wrong size your whole f*cking life. You become a woman the first time you fart in front of a boyfriend. The first time your heart breaks. The first time you break someone else’s heart. The first time someone you love dies. The first time you lie and make yourself look bad so a friend you love can look better.

And less dramatic things are meaningful too, like the first time a guy tries to put a finger in your *ss. The first time you express the reality that you don’t want that finger in your *ss. That you really don’t want anything in your *ss at all. Or to have any creative, adventurous sex for that matter. That you just want to be f*cked missionary sometimes and without any nonsense.

You will remember all these moments later as the moments that made you the woman you are. Everyone tells you it happens when you get your first period, but really it happens when you insert your first tampon and teach your best friend to do the same.”