Andy Rooney quotes

Who the heck is Andy Rooney?

Andy Rooney was an American radio and television writer known for his many aphorisms.

Andy Rooney books

Andy Rooney quotes

“Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.”

Andy Rooney

“Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.”

Andy Rooney

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.”

Andy Rooney

“Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.”

Andy Rooney

“I believe that if all the truth in the world was known the world would be a better place.”

Andy Rooney

“I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.”

Andy Rooney

“I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.”

Andy Rooney

“I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that being kind is more important than being right.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day,” makes my day.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that life is tough, but I’m tougher.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that love, not time, heals all wounds.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that money doesn’t buy class.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.”

Andy Rooney

“I’ve learned… that you should never say no to a gift from a child.”

Andy Rooney

“If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.”

Andy Rooney

“If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.”

Andy Rooney

“If you wonder what anyone thinks of you, consider what you think of them.”

Andy Rooney

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.”

Andy Rooney

“Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.”

Andy Rooney

“Not everyone has a right to his own opinion. If he doesn’t know the facts, his opinion doesn’t count.”

Andy Rooney

“Nothing in fine print is ever good news.”

Andy Rooney

“People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.”

Andy Rooney

“The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.”

Andy Rooney

“The biggest seller is cook books and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.”

Andy Rooney

“The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can’t eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as “progress”, doesn’t spread.”

Andy Rooney

“There are idiots who will buy anything as long as it costs enough.”

Andy Rooney

“Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.”

Andy Rooney

“We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. More college graduates ought to become plumbers or electricians, then go home at night and
read Shakespeare.”

Andy Rooney

“We’re all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don’t make any big ones.”

Andy Rooney