Who the hell is Benjamin Franklin?

“A friend in need is a friend indeed!”

“A penny saved is a penny earned.”

“A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.”

“At the working man’s house hunger looks in, but dares not enter.”

“Avoid extremes. Forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.”

“Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.”

“Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none.”

“Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.”

“Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.”

“Beware of little expenses; A small leak will sink a great ship.”

“Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.”

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”

“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is made of.”

“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”

“Eat not to dullness. Drink not to elevation.”

“Fear not death for the sooner we die, the longer we shall be immortal.”

“Fish and visitors stink in 3 days.”

“Fools make feasts, and wise men eat them.”

“He that can have patience can have what he will.”

“He that hath a calling hath an office of profit and honor.”

“He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.”

“He that lives upon hope will die fasting.”

“He that's content, hath enough; He that complains, has too much.”

“Hide not your talents, they for use were made,
What's a sundial in the shade?”

“How many observe Christ's birthday! How few His precepts!”

“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”

“If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”

“If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed.”

“If you will not hear reason, she'll rap your knuckles.”

“If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.”

“If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some; for He that goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing.”

“If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing.”

“Imitate Jesus and Socrates.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

“Instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle.”

“It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.”

“Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are.”

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”

“Let all your things have their places. Let each part of your business have its time.”

“Life biggest tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.”

“Little strokes fell great oaks.”

“Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions.”

“Lost time is never found again.”

“Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults.”

“Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself: i.e., Waste nothing.”

“Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five.”

“Money makes money. And the money that money makes, makes money.”

“Never confuse motion with action.”

“Never read a book without a pen in your hand.”

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

“One today is worth two tomorrows.”

“Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.”

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”

“Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.”

“Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.”

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.”

“The people heard it, and approved the doctrine, and immediately practiced the contrary.”

“There are no gains without pains.”

“There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.”

“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”

“To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends.”

“Today is Yesterday's pupil.”

“Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes, or habitation.”

“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.”

“Use no hurtful deceit. Think innocently and justly; and if you speak, speak accordingly.”

“Vessels large may venture more, But little boats should keep near shore.”

“Waste neither time nor money, but make the best use of both.”

“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.”

“We may make these times better, if we better ourselves.”

“Well done is better than well said.”

“When you're testing to see how deep water is, never use two feet.”

“Wise men learn by other's harms; Fools by their own.”

“Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.”

“You may delay, but time will not.”