Benny Hill Quotes
|Born||January 21, 1924|
|Died||April 20, 1992|
Who the Hell is Benny Hill?
Best Quotes by Benny Hill
“A nudist from Notting Hill Gate, was pushed into a pond by his mate, a tiddler swam by and said with a sigh "Will you look what they're using for bait.”
“Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason... Now I have a reason.”
“Did you hear about the actress who was so dumb, she couldn’t count to two without taking off her blouse?”
“Do unto others, then run.”
“Don't put off till tomorrow what you could do today because if you do it today and you like it you can do it again tomorrow.”
“Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.”
“Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?”
“I call one of my dogs greyhound on a account he's the grayest. I call another dog happy on account he's the gayest. I call the big dog meanie on a account he's the meanest. And I call the pup Liberace on a account he's the peein'est!.”
“I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.”
“I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.”
“Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.”
“Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.”
“Roses are reddish, violets are bluish. If it weren't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish.”
“She has a black belt in cookery—she can kill you with one chop.”
“That's what show business is, sincere insincerity.”
“The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.”
“The pen is mightier than the sword - It's also easier to write with!”
“Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.”
“Why do cemeteries have walls?
It's queer without a doubt.
The people outside don't want to get in.
And the people inside surely can't get out.”
“Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy? ”
“You can’t run around laughing all the time.”
“You only write what you know about.”