Danny DeVito Quotes

“A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen make me sick.”

“A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful the way you lean.”

“After you've lived with somebody for 11 years, what's a guy in a robe reading from a book going to change?”

“Even if one doesn't smoke pot, one has to see the benefits of decriminalizing it.”

“Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money.”

“I am self-centred. I just adore myself.”

“I climbed like a billion stairs... it's not like I can take them two at a time.”

“I developed that for a long time. I also developed 'Sugar Sweet Science' at New Line and that didn't happen. That was a boxing movie. And between all that there were a couple of other things.”

“I didn't do it because of the underlying greed that's prevailing, but it is about greed, doing the right thing at the right time using your clout when you have it and what for and what reason.”

“I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.”

“I don't look ahead. I'm right here with you. It's a good way to be.”

“I don't think I've been bored, ever. I've always been working on two or three things at a time; whether it was in the early days, or whatever, I was always working on something.”

“I have been very fortunate in my life. I have had a lot of happiness. I have a great family and I work a lot, and that's what I like to do.”

“I lay on the ground, but then I can't reach – I don't want to take my foot out of the tub – but I've got to call somebody because I've got to get a band-aid or something to stop the bleeding.”

“I love women. I mean, I'm married, but I used to get in all kinds of trouble.”

“I'll tell you one thing, it's a cruel, cruel world.”

“I'll watch Ricky Gervais in anything he does. The guy's hilarious.”

“I'm always studying and I've been doing it for a long time now.”

“I'm shooting in Brooklyn, we've got all kinds of crap going on, and I'm all alone now in a big hotel suite that you can't believe the size of it and a thing sticks in my foot and I just think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.”

“I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.”

“If you're going to have kids, there's only one way to go. They have to know they're the most important things in your life, and once you're doing that, there's no way that you could not learn from them, because they just give you stuff constantly.”

“In order for the light of gratitude and happiness to shine so brightly, the darkness of how it could be worse must be present.”

“In this movie, you have all the things you love from Tim. All the magic and the whimsy and the surreal, but he also has a fantastic story of a father and son that really gets under your skin.”

“It don't care whether I'm good enough. It don't care whether I snore or not. It don't care which God I pray to. There are only three things with that kind of unconditional acceptance: Dogs, donuts, and money.”

“It's fun to be on the edge. I think you do your best work when you take chances, when you're not safe, when you're not in the middle of the road, at least for me, anyway.”

“It's just an ice bucket with a bottle in it. The two flute glasses are little tray. I got to shut the curtains. I'm in my boxer shorts and shirt. I'm going to take a bath and go to bed. But I want to shut the blinds so it's really dark in the room.”

“Jersey is always with me. I was one of the lucky ones. Asbury Park is just the greatest place in the world to spend your childhood.”

“Most men somewhere in their psyche are still dragging women around by their hair. It's terrible. I have two daughters, but even before my kids were born I always thought that it was terrible.”

“My parents worked their tails off, but we weren't the poorest people in town. Some people I went to school with, you could tell they were dirt poor.”

“Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.”