Dave Barry quotes

“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.”

Dave Barry

“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”

Dave Barry

“Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.”

Dave Barry

“Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.”

Dave Barry

“If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry. ”

Dave Barry

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”

Dave Barry

“Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can using only their hands and feet make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.”

Dave Barry

“The metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.”

Dave Barry

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

Dave Barry

“You should not confuse your career with your life.”

Dave Barry

“Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.”

Dave Barry