David M. Buss Quotes Page 3


 
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Best 146 Quotes by David M. Buss – Page 3 of 5

The Evolution of Desire Quotes

“One man who estimated that he had hooked up with thirty or forty women over the past year through dating apps admitted, 'I sort of play that I could be a boyfriend kind of guy, in order to win them over, but then they start wanting me to care more... and I just don’t.'”

The Evolution of Desire

“Overt displays of sexuality are effective short-term tactics for women but are ineffective in the long run: such displays get men’s sexual attention but do not motivate them to invest or commit.

The effectiveness of attraction, in short, depends critically on the temporal context of the mating. Men and women tailor their attraction techniques to the length of the relationship they seek.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Signals of sexual accessibility are sometimes part of a larger strategy to lure a man into a long-term relationship. Sometimes the only way a woman can gain the attention and interest of a man is by offering herself as sexually available with no apparent strings attached.

If the costs in resources and commitment are made low enough, many men succumb to sexual opportunity.

Once a woman gains sexual access to a man of her choice, her proximity offers opportunities for insinuating herself, for making the man depend on her for various functions, and for gradually escalating both the benefits he will receive by staying in the relationship and the costs he will incur if he leaves her.

What seems initially like costless sex without strings attached ends up being transformed into commitment.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Sincerity in personal advertisements is a code word for commitment, used by women to screen out men seeking casual sex without any commitment.”

The Evolution of Desire

“The biological irony of the double standard is that males could not have been selected for promiscuity if historically females had always denied them opportunity for expression of the trait.”

The Evolution of Desire

“The centrality of fidelity shows up indirectly in the tactics employed by women to derogate mating competitors.

Saying that a rival cannot stay loyal to one man was judged to be the single most effective derogation tactic for a woman to use in the marriage market.

Calling a rival a sl*t, saying she was loose, or telling others that she slept around were in the top 10 percent of effective derogation tactics.”

The Evolution of Desire

“The characteristics that men and women value are keys to understanding the means of attracting a mate.”

The Evolution of Desire

“The consequences of women’s attractiveness for a man’s social status are critical. Everyday folklore tells us that our mate is a reflection of ourselves.

Men are particularly concerned about status, reputation, and hierarchies because elevated rank has always been an important means of acquiring the resources that make men attractive to women.

It is reasonable, therefore, to expect that a man will be concerned about the effect that his mate has on his social status.”

The Evolution of Desire

“The deception study found that men use several tactics to deceive women about their intentions. Men pretend to be interested in starting a relationship when they are not really interested and act as if they care about a woman even though they really do not.

Most men are fully aware that feigning commitment is an effective tactic for short-term sexual attraction, and they admit to deceiving women by this means. Men using Tinder, Hinge, and other dating apps admit that they pretend to be open to being in a relationship even though their real interest lies in racking up large numbers of short-term sexual conquests.”

The Evolution of Desire

“The diverse tactics for retaining mates succeed by exploiting the psychological adaptations of mates and rivals. The beneficial tactics, such as giving love and resources, work for a man because they fulfill the psychological desires that led the woman to choose him to begin with.

For a woman, enhancing her physical appearance and providing sexual resources succeeds because they match men’s psychology of desire.

Indeed, our study of married couples found that men intensify their mate retention efforts when they perceive their partner to be attractive, just as women ramp up their mate retention efforts with partners who are higher in status and income.”

The Evolution of Desire

“The effectiveness of playing hard to get as a long-term attraction technique stems from providing men with two key reproductive assets: desirability on the mating market and a signal that he alone will have sexual access.”

The Evolution of Desire

“The good news is that educated women and men who choose each other tend to have happier, more stable, and more affluent marriages.”

The Evolution of Desire

“The importance of context is also shown by the attraction tactic of acting coy or unavailable. Appearing indifferent to a person one likes and playing hard to get are judged to be more effective for women than for men.

Furthermore, these forms of coyness are more effective for women in the context of long-term as opposed to casual mates. This outcome meshes perfectly with the sexual strategies of both women and men.

The coyness tactic works for women seeking committed mates because it signals both desirability and fidelity. Men think that if a woman is easy for them to get sexually, then she may be easy for other men too.”

The Evolution of Desire

“The mate attraction studies confirm the power of displaying commitment in the long-term mating market.

Discussing cohabitation or marriage signals that a man would like to integrate the woman into his social and family life, commit his resources to her, and perhaps have children with her.

Offering to convert to her religion shows a willingness to accommodate to her needs. Showing a deep concern for her problems communicates emotional support and a commitment to be there in times of need.”

The Evolution of Desire

“The romantic fallacy occurs when we see ourselves through the lens of utopian visions of what we want people to be.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Those who fail to mate, fail to become ancestors. Each living human therefore, has descended from a long and unbroken line of successful mateships stretching back millions of years.

If any one of our ancestors had failed to traverse the complex hurdles posed by mating, we would not be alive to ponder these improbable feats.”

The Evolution of Desire

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“There is no 'black mind' or 'white mind', no 'white male of knowing', there is only one truth, and we find it through the scientific method.”


More quotes by Gad Saad

“To assume that men and women are psychologically the same, as was generally done in traditional social science and still is in some out-of-date scientific circles, goes against what we now know about our evolved sexual psychology.”

The Evolution of Desire

“To maximize the chances of preserving a long-term bond, couples would do well to remain faithful; produce children together; secure ample economic resources; act kind, generous, and understanding; and attend to their mate’s sexual and emotional desires.

These actions do not guarantee a successful relationship, but they increase the odds substantially.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Upset over neglect and unreliability reflects a conflict over investment of time and effort. It takes effort to be on time. Reliability requires relinquishing time and resources that could be channeled toward other goals.

Neglect signals a low investment, indicating that the man lacks the depth of commitment necessary to perform acts that require even minimal cost for the woman’s benefit.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Whereas signals of commitment prove highly effective in attracting long-term mates, creating an illusion of commitment can be effective in attracting and seducing a woman.”

The Evolution of Desire

“While love is common, true love is rare, and I believe that few people are fortunate enough to experience it.

The roads of regular love are well traveled and their markers are well understood by many – the mesmerizing attraction, the idealization obsession, the sexual afterglow, the profound self-sacrifice, and the desire to combine DNA.

But true love takes its own course through uncharted territory. It knows no fences, eludes modern measurement, and seems scientifically woolly. But I know true love exists. I just can’t prove it.”

The Evolution of Desire

“While women complain that men are emotionally constricted, men commonly complain that women are too moody and emotional.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Women are more likely than men to experience negative emotions after a hookup. Men are more likely to regret when the woman they hooked up with wants a more serious relationship.

Men report that their ideal outcome of a hookup would be more hookups in the future. Women are more likely to report that their ideal outcome would be a romantic relationship.

Following hookups, women are more likely than men to report feeling 'used' and experiencing depressed mood.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Women guard against deception. When they are seeking a committed relationship, an important first-line defense is imposing courtship costs by requiring extended time, energy, and costly signals before consenting to sex.

More time buys more assessment. It allows a woman greater opportunity to evaluate a man, to assess how committed he is to her, and to detect whether he is burdened by prior commitments to other women and children.

Men who seek to deceive women about their ultimate intentions typically tire of extended courtship. They go elsewhere for sex partners who are more readily available.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Women marry believing that their husbands will change. Men marry believing that their wives will not change. They are both wrong.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Women of striking beauty are desired by many men, but only a few men prosper in attracting them.

The qualities of kindness, intelligence, dependability, athleticism, looks, and economic prospects are all present rarely in the same person.

Most of us must settle for someone who has less than the full complement of desirable qualities.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Women report pretending to be helpless, letting the man control the conversation, acting dumb, acting 'ditzy', and pretending to be meek and submissive. A woman’s submissiveness conveys to a man that he need not expect hostile reactions to his advances.

Subservient signals implicitly give men permission to approach. Since men are more likely to initiate approaches, signs of submissiveness and helplessness lower barriers to approach.

Acting submissive elicits approaches from a larger number of men, expands the pool of potential mates, creates greater opportunities for choice, and ultimately increases the quality of the mate obtained.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Women sometimes have affairs when they are trying to replace their current mate or in order to make it easier to break off with a current mate.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Women tend to have affairs when they are unhappy with their primary relationship, whereas men who have affairs are no less happy with their marriages than men who refrain.”

The Evolution of Desire

“Women were more likely to regret sexual acts of commission, such as losing virginity to the wrong person, hooking up with a person with low mate value when drunk, and having sex with someone who was not interested in a relationship.”

The Evolution of Desire

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“If women are trapped by the wh*re/Madonna complex, men are equally trapped by this warrior/minstrel complex.

What’s more, while a man is expected to be modern, that is, to support feminism in all its particulars, to see and treat women as equals in every respect, he is on the other hand often still expected to be traditional at the same time, to treat a lady like a lady, to lead the way and pick up the check.”


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