David M. Buss Quotes

“A man at the apprenticeship stage of a promising career may pursue only brief affairs, figuring that he will be able to attract a more desirable long-term mate later on, when his career is closer to its peak.”

“A study by T. Joel Wade and Jennifer Slemp similarly found that the most effective flirtation tactics for women include touching, dressing in revealing clothing, moving closer, kissing on the cheek, and rubbing against the man.”

“Although most men place a premium on beauty, it is clear that not all men succeed in satisfying their desires. Men who lack the status and resources that women want, for example, generally have the most difficult time attracting good looking, young women and must settle for less than their ideal.

Indeed, a man's occupational status seems to be the best predictor of the attractiveness of the woman he marries. Men who are in a position to get what they want often partner up with a young, attractive woman.”

“Among all the tactics to elevate their position in status hierarchies, industriousness proved to be the best predictor of past and anticipated income and promotions.

Those who worked harder achieved higher levels of education and higher annual salaries, and they anticipated greater salaries and promotions than those who failed to work hard.”

“As a man's income goes up, he seeks younger partners.”

“As women age, husbands show less sexual interest in them and experience less happiness with their sexual relationship. Men who perceive their wives as quite attractive, however, maintain high frequencies of sex and higher levels of sexual satisfaction.”

“At this point in history, we can no longer doubt that men and women differ in their preferences for a mate: primarily for youth and physical attractiveness in one case, and for status, maturity, success, protection, and economic resources in the other.

Men and women also differ in their proclivities for casual sex without emotional involvement, in their desire for sexual variety, and in the nature of their sexual fantasies.”

“Because ancestral women valued high status in men, for example, men have evolved motivation for acquiring and displaying status. Because ancestral men desired youth and health in potential mates, women have evolved motivations to appear young and healthful.

Competition to attract a mate therefore involves besting one’s rivals in developing and displaying the characteristics most keenly sought by one’s desired partners.”

“Because firm, youthful breasts stimulate men’s desires, women obtain breast implants and wear push-up bras.”

“Because flushed cheeks and high color are cues that men use to gauge a woman’s health, women rouge their cheeks artificially to trigger men’s attraction.”

“Because full red lips trigger men’s evolved desires, women apply lipstick skillfully and even get injections to enlarge their lips for the 'bee-stung' look.”

“Because lustrous hair is one of men’s evolved desires, women highlight, bleach, tint, or dye their hair, and they give it extra body with conditioners, egg yolks, beer, or weaves.”

“Because smooth, clear skin is one of men’s evolved desires, women cover up blemishes, use moisture cream, apply astringents, and get facelifts.”

“Both sexes place a tremendous value on intelligence and dependability in a lifetime mate. Both seek long-term mates who are cooperative, trustworthy, and loyal. And both desire mates who will not inflict crushing costs on them.

We are all of one species from the same planet. Recognition of our shared psychology and shared biology is one step toward producing harmony between the sexes.”

“Children strengthen marital bonds, reducing the probability of divorce, by creating a powerful commonality of genetic interest between a man and a woman.”

“Commitment is difficult and costly to fake, because commitment is gauged from repeated signals over time. Men who are interested only in sex are unlikely to invest this much effort.”

“Consider the case of a woman who denigrates a rival by casually mentioning that the rival has slept with many men.

If the man is seeking a spouse, this tactic is highly effective, because men dislike promiscuity in a potential wife.

If the man is seeking casual sex, however, the woman’s tactic is likely to backfire, because most men pursuing easy sex are not bothered by a woman’s past promiscuity.”

“Deception usually occurs in the domains that are most important—status, resources, and commitment for women, appearance and sexual fidelity for men, and personality qualities for both.”

“Displays of love, commitment, and devotion signal a man is willing to channel his time, energy, and effort to her in the long run.

Men attempt to deceive women by feigning an interest in commitment to achieve a quick sexual score. They also feign confidence, status, kindness, and resources that they lack.

Men try to abscond with the sexual benefit without paying the cost of commitment.”

“Effective non-verbal seduction tactics for women in Lisbon, Portugal, included wearing tight skirts, wearing low-neck blouses, and exposing legs through short skirts or wearing attention-getting black or red nylons.

Women who sexualize their appearance and behavior succeed in evoking approaches from men.”

“Exceptions occur when women mate with substantially younger men. Many of these cases occur not because of strong preferences by women for younger men but rather because both older women and younger men lack bargaining power on the mating market.”

“Features of physical appearance, such as full lips, clear skin, smooth skin, clear eyes, lustrous hair, and good muscle tone, and features of behavior, such as a bouncy, youthful gait, an animated facial expression, and a high energy level.

These physical cues to youth and health, and hence to reproductive capacity, constitute key elements of male standards of female beauty.”

“For both men and women worldwide, jealousy is an adaptation that becomes activated in response to a threat to a valued relationship.”

“For every incremental gain in men’s ability to deceive women, women evolve comparable incremental gains in their ability to detect deception.”

“Fulfilling each other’s evolved desires is one key to harmony between a man and woman.

A woman’s happiness increases when the man brings more economic resources to the union and shows kindness, affection, and commitment. A man’s happiness increases when the woman is more physically attractive than he is, and when she shows kindness, affection, and commitment.

Those who fulfill each other’s desires have happier relationships, especially if there are no interested others in the mating pool who could fulfill them more completely.”

“Given the importance that men attach to looks and sexual exclusivity in a potential mate, they are especially sensitive to deception about a woman’s age and sexual history. Men are keenly attuned to information about women’s sexual reputations.

Vigilance guards them against deception about two of the most reproductively important considerations for a man seeking a long-term mate — her reproductive value and the likelihood that her value will be channeled exclusively to him.”

“Given the power of sexual selection, under which each sex competes for access to desirable mates, it would defy scientific logic to find that men and women were psychologically identical in aspects of mating about which they have faced different adaptive challenges for millions of years.”

“If women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex, then depriving a man of sex may be a reliable way to stop his love and hasten his departure.”

“In light of men’s emphasis on fidelity in a committed relationship, displays of fidelity should be paramount in women’s tactics of attraction.

Faithfulness displays, such as honesty and trustworthiness, signal that the woman is pursuing a long-term mating strategy and that she is doing so without deception and exclusively with one man.”

“In short-term affairs, women can be very choosy because they have so many options to choose from.”