Who is Dorothy Parker?

Dorothy Parker was an American poet, writer and satirist. She is known for her witty poems and for the screenplay for A Star Is Born which is made into several movies bearing that title.

Books by Dorothy Parker

Quotes by Dorothy Parker

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”

Dorothy Parker

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”

Dorothy Parker

“Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”

Dorothy Parker While Rome Burns

“Don't look at me in that tone of voice.”

Dorothy Parker

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”

Dorothy Parker

“I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.”

Dorothy Parker

“I hate writing, I love having written.”

Dorothy Parker

“I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.”

Dorothy Parker

“I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.”

Dorothy Parker

“I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.”

Dorothy Parker

“I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

Dorothy Parker

“I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.”

Dorothy Parker

“I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.”

Dorothy Parker

“If all the girls attending the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”

Dorothy Parker

“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”

Dorothy Parker

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”

Dorothy Parker

“If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.”

Dorothy Parker

“Living well is the best revenge.”

Dorothy Parker

“Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.”

Dorothy Parker

“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”

Dorothy Parker

“Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded
wheelchair.”

Dorothy Parker

“Never complain, never explain.”

Dorothy Parker

“Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.”

Dorothy Parker The Ladies of the Corridor

“Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn.”

Dorothy Parker On Hollywood mogul Samuel Goldwyn

“Should they whisper false of you, never trouble to deny. Should the words they say be true, weep and storm and swear they lie!”

Dorothy Parker

“Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.”

Dorothy Parker

“Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.”

Dorothy Parker

“Tell him I was too fucking busy – or vice versa.”

Dorothy Parker

“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.”

Dorothy Parker While Rome Burns

“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”

Dorothy Parker

“The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.”

Dorothy Parker

“They sicken of the calm who know the storm.”

Dorothy Parker Sunset Gun

“Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.”

Dorothy Parker

“Women and elephants never forget.”

Dorothy Parker

“Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.”

Dorothy Parker

“You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”

Dorothy Parker You Might as Well Live

“You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.”

Dorothy Parker The Algonquin Wits