Eric Berne Quotes

“A consecrated fetishist does not usually make a very good husband unless he finds exactly the right woman.”

“A real person can be defined as follows: one who acts spontaneously, but rationally and with dignity, while taking into account the interests of other people.”

“All your decisions are made by four or five people inside your head, and although you may ignore them if you are too proud to hear them, they will be there next time if you bother to listen. Script analysts learn to amplify and identify these voices.”

“Children understand people much better than trained adults who study human behavior.”

“Hunger is the need to touch and be touched, to be recognized by society and is only appeased by caresses.”

“I know that when people talk, they exchange something with each other, and that is why they talk to each other. The fundamental question is: why do people talk to each other?”

“If you are not petted, your spinal cord will begin to dry up.”

“In most cases, a person spends his whole life deceiving the world, and usually himself.”

“In most cases, when we mention interaction it implies that there is no action. People who actually do things do not use words as interaction. Transaction means: At least I’ve taken a step forward.”

“Instead of encouraging people to live bravely in an old world, it is possible to make them live happily in a brave new world.”

“It is better to be a slave to your beloved woman than a free man to the unloved one.”

“It is incredible to think, at first, that the destiny of man, all his nobility and all his degradation, is decided by a child of no more than six years, and usually three.”

“It’s our responsibility to take off that toad skin and remain princes and princesses.”

“Love is nature's psychotherapy.”

“Men tend to be attracted by the things that their families emphasize, in particular their mother. Indeed, the basic rule of fetishes is that a man’s fetish is the same as his mother’s Child.”

“So many people are more willing to spend money on booze, drugs, and gambling than on mental health care that could save them.”

“The achievement of autonomy is manifested by the discovery or recovery of three capacities: awareness, spontaneity and intimacy.”

“The destiny of every human being is decided by what goes on inside his skull when confronted by what goes on outside his skull.”

“The most brutal psychological blow that a human being can receive is the proof that his good mother cheated him.”

“The parental programming is not the 'fault' of the parents since they only pass on to their children the programming received from their parents, just as it is not their 'fault' the physical appearance of their children since they only pass on to them the genes they received from their ancestors. But brain chemicals are easier to change than those that determine physical appearance.”

“We are born princes and the civilizing process makes us frogs.”

“Whatever you do, think of next morning's headlines.”

“When the intuitive disposition is strong, it brings with it a feeling of certainty that is difficult to shake.”

“When the script decrees that the patient should never get well, but the therapist manages to destroy this curse. This requires enormous power and skill on his part. He must gain the full confidence of the Child of the patient, since success depends on the Child having more confidence in him than in the Parent of origin who dictated the script.”