Frank Zappa Quotes

“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it isn't open.”

“A true Zen saying: Nothing is what I want.”

“A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment.”

“After all, he wrote this book here, and in the book it says he made us all to be just like him! So if we're dumb, then God is dumb — and maybe even a little ugly on the side.”

“All music is good. It fulfills a social function. It's like wallpaper to your lifestyle. It defines what you are.”

“All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.”

“All your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control.”

“Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned – I support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to share your dogma, rapture, or necrodestination.”

“Anyone who is disturbed by the idea of newts in a nightclub is potentially dangerous.”

“Anything Anytime Anyplace For No Reason At All (or AAAFNRAA)”

“Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it.”

“Be a jerk - go to work,
be a jerk - go to work,
be a jerk - go to work,
be a jerk - go to work,
do your job, and do it right,
life's a ball, TV tonight.”

“Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die.”

“Behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue government.”

“Being alive is so weird.”

“Being interviewed is one of the most abnormal things that you can do to somebody else. It's two steps removed from the Inquisition.”

“Books are good for lots of uses, not for dropping in the toilet.”

“Call any vegetable,
call it by name,
and the chances are good
that the vegetable will respond to you.”

“Certification from one source or another seems to be the most important thing to people all over the world. A piece of paper from a school that says you’re smart, a pat on the head from your parents that says you’re good or some reinforcement from your peers that makes you think what you’re doing is worthwhile. People are just waiting around to get certified.”

“Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago. And it's formula music, the same as top forty music is formula music. In order to have a piece be classical, it has to conform to academic standards that were the current norms of that day and age. I think that people are entitled to be amused, and entertained. If they see deviations from this classical norm, it's probably good for their mental health.”

“Classical musicians go to the conservatories, rock´n roll musicians go to the garages.”

“Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”

“Do you think you are protecting somebody by taking away seven words?”

“Don't eat the yellow snow.”

“Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read.”

“Drugs will turn you into your parents.”

“Every socialistic type of government produces bad art, produces social inertia, produces really unhappy people, and it's more repressive than any other kind of government.”

“Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence.”

“Everything on this planet has something to do with music. Music functions in the realm of sculptured air. Polluted as our atmosphere might be, air is the thing that makes music work. Since all other things that occur in the sound domain are transmitted to the ear through that swirling mass, depending on how wide you want to make your definition, you could perceive quite a bit of human experience in terms of music.”

“Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There's a world, you see which has people in it who believe a variety of different things.”