H. L. Mencken Quotes

“A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.”

“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”

“All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.”

“An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.”

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.”

“Genius: the ability to prolong one's childhood.”

“I am suspicious of all the things that the average person believes.”

“If the average man is made in God's image, then such a man as Beethoven or Aristotle is plainly superior to God...”

“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?”

“Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.”

“Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.”

“My guess is that well over 80 percent of the human race goes without having a single original thought.”

“Nevertheless, it is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.”

“No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.”

“On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.”

“Religion is a conceited effort to deny the most obvious realities.”

“The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.”

“The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.”

“When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.”

“You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.”