James J. Sexton Quotes

“1. You don’t know what you want.
2. You can’t express what you want.”

“Did you stop paying attention because the relationship didn’t make you happy, or did the relationship stop bringing happiness because you stopped paying attention to it?”

“Do you have a my-way-or-the-highway attitude? American culture, as I wrote earlier, is a distressingly disposable one; we’ve grown so used to simply getting rid of things as soon as they present a problem or seem outdated (whatever that means).”

“Don’t put the future in jeopardy just to indulge in some frivolous nostalgia. The negatives far outweigh the positives.”

“I’m okay with being pragmatic rather than romantic; honestly, there’s something romantic about pragmatism. I find reality way sexier than delusion.”

“If you don’t use a muscle, it gets weaker. If you’re in spouse mode or parent mode all the time, don’t you eventually forget about the “I”?”

“If you had to listen to a lawyer read the email or text out loud in a courtroom, would you change the tone?

When I was a teenager, my mom used to tell me not to put anything in writing that I would feel uncomfortable seeing published on the front page of the New York Times. I understood, even then, what she was suggesting: Engage only in behavior that you’re prepared to stand by and defend.

Be on your toes to be your best self at all times, even when no one is watching.”

“Shoot for resolution rather than full satisfaction. Stop worrying about being right.”

“The line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”

“The line I use in my work more than any other is “I hear you”. Not “You’re right”.

I don’t even need to agree. Just acknowledge. I hear you. I hear your frustration. I get it.”

“To feel fulfilled might mean “to get over a specific traumatic event from his past”. Or it might mean “to enjoy a less stressful job where there aren’t so many people advancing competing agendas that he has to try to balance”.”

“We fix things and hold on to things because we ourselves don’t want to be thrown away. You don’t want to feel as if you are disposable to your partner, your children, your coworkers. You want to be as relevant and vital as you can, for as long as you can.”

“You can love something, or someone, and still tire of them at times.

Feel restless. That’s when things sometimes happen.”

“You’re interested in having the best, most mutually enriching, joy-filled, good-sex-filled life with someone who wants to stay married to you.

A marriage that makes you both better people, on a continuing basis. Isn’t that what you signed up for, or thought you had?”