Joey Diaz Quotes

Who is Joey Diaz?

José Antonio Díaz, known professionally as Joey "CoCo" Diaz, is a Cuban-American stand-up comedian, actor, and podcaster. Díaz is born in Havana and raised in New-Jersey.

Born February 19, 1963

Best 22 Quotes by Joey Diaz

“Hey, I'm not rich, but I'm lucky. I get to do what I want to do. That's not an easy thing to do in this country.”

Joey Diaz

“I don’t have to carry my own suitcase. I can make a living as an author.”

Joey Diaz

“I just showed up at the Comedy Store. You keep showing up, and you keep showing up, and eventually, somebody notices.”

Joey Diaz

“I like people with a little bit of edge to them. They gotta do something.”

Joey Diaz

“I lived in my car in Hollywood for a year, and then it got towed. My apartment got towed. How does that happen?”

Joey Diaz

“I remember looking at the year 2000 like something I was never going to hit.”

Joey Diaz

“I tell ya, you can walk out on your feet or crawl out on your knees, ya follow me?”

Joey Diaz

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“I think I was always doomed to be involved in some type of comedy because I was an only child, so I learned early on to justify everything in my head with comedy.”

Joey Diaz

“I thought I would be an extra one time in a movie. And I would have been happy with that.”

Joey Diaz

“I want to write a book on addictions, just to let people know the horrible things I did and the horrible situations I’ve put myself in.”

Joey Diaz

“I want to write stories for my daughter.”

Joey Diaz

“I was just coming out of prison, I was married, and I had a kid, and I didn't know what to do, so I tried stand-up.”

Joey Diaz

“I’m Hispanic. I’m a Catholic. I believe in God. I believe in karma.”

Joey Diaz

“I’m so high right now, if I went into a church I’d mug the preacher for a wafer.”

Joey Diaz

“If you go on Wikipedia and look at all the people from Jersey, your jaw will fuckin’ drop.”

Joey Diaz

“If you’re walking on ice, you might as well dance.”

Joey Diaz

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“I consider this world to be like a school and our lives to be the classrooms.”


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“Jersey has the most people per capita. It’s amazing, everybody wants to live in New Jersey.”

Joey Diaz

“People die millionaires. All your life, you're gonna stress money?”

Joey Diaz

“When something happens and you add comedy to it, it makes it okay.”

Joey Diaz

“While you’re waiting to do anything, all of your insecurities come up.”

Joey Diaz

“You gotta see the devil before you can be your own god.”

Joey Diaz

“You have to justify your existence everyday to the universe.”

Joey Diaz