John Gray Quotes

“Life is filled with rhythms – day and night, hot and cold, summer and winter, spring and fall, cloudy and clear.

Likewise in a relationship, men and women have their own rhythms and cycles.”

“The process of learning requires not only hearing and applying but also forgetting and then remembering again.”

“To love someone is to acknowledge the goodness of who they are. Through loving a person we awaken their awareness of their own innate goodness.

It is as though they cannot know how worthy they are until they look into the mirror of our love and see themselves.”

“Women talk for the same reasons men stop talking.”

“A deeper understanding of single men and women can be immensely helpful in navigating through the five different stages of dating: attraction, uncertainty, commitment, intimacy, and engagement.”

“A professional man is someone who competently does his job whether he feels like it or not.”

“A woman mistakenly thinks that to be worthy of receiving what she really wants, she must keep giving back what she is receiving.”

“A woman should not behave with a man as if she is exclusive or intimate if he is still working through issues with other women.

And she should not mistakenly believe that if she listens sympathetically to him, he will become convinced she is the one for him.”

“Although feelings of attraction are automatic, in order to sustain attraction in a personal relationship we must also be skillful in presenting ourselves in ways that are not just appealing to the other sex but supportive as well. It is not enough to say: Here I am; take me as I am.”

“It is not enough to merely be authentic in sharing yourself; to succeed in dating you need to consider how you will be interpreted as well.”

“Learning from mistakes helps prevent the repetition of negative patterns.”

“Love motivates you to cooperate, respect, appreciate, cherish, and admire that person.”

“The soul is who you are when you strip away the body, mind, and heart. Your soul has a potential that takes an entire lifetime to be fully realized.

When a couple are soul mates, when their souls recognize and love each other and they are attracted to each other physically, emotionally, and mentally, then this love not only can last but can continue to grow and become richer as the years pass.

This does not mean that everything will flow easily and effortlessly. It simply means you have the potential to be successful.”

“The time you spend in any relationship is not a loss if you learn from it and complete it in a positive way. Each time you follow your heart and then plainly recognize that someone is not right for you, then you are definitely one step closer to finding the right person for you.”

“There are basically four kinds of chemistry between dating partners; physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

Physical chemistry generates desire. Emotional chemistry generates affection. Mental chemistry creates interest. Spiritual chemistry creates love. A soul mate includes all four.”

“Too much intimacy, too quickly, can cause women to become needy and men to pull away. Just as men have a tendency to rush into physical intimacy, women make the mistake of rushing into complete emotional intimacy.”

“A man unknowingly hurts his partner by speaking in an uncaring manner and then goes on to explain why she should not be upset. He mistakenly assumes she is resisting the content of his point of view, when really his unloving delivery is what upsets her.

Because he does not understand her reaction, he focuses more on explaining the merit of what he is saying instead of correcting the way he is saying it. He has no idea that he is starting an argument; he thinks she is arguing with him.

He defends his point of view while she defends herself from his sharpened expressions, which are hurtful to her.”

“A man's deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent. He compensates for this fear by focusing on increasing his power and competence.

Success, achievement, and efficiency are foremost in his life... A man appears most uncaring when he is afraid.”

“A man's sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results.”

“A woman feels supported and backed if the man believes in her feelings, and the man feels cared for and cared for if the woman agrees with her thoughts.”

“A woman should not be judged for needing this reassurance, just as a man should not be judged for needing to withdraw.”

“A woman's sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships.”

“A women under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood.”

“After learning, please be realistic. Give yourself a permission to keep making mistakes.

We must also give ourselves the gift of understanding that we can’t remember everything we learned at once.”

“After the Martians learned how to listen and made the most amazing discovery, they began to realize that listening to a Venus talking about problems could really help them get out of their caves, like when watching a game on TV or reading a newspaper.”

“All men and women have an equal need for love. When these needs are not fulfilled it is easy to have our feelings hurt, for which we blame our partner.”

“As a man matures he also learns that he may be giving up himself, but his major change is becoming more aware of how he can succeed in giving.

Likewise, as a woman matures she also learns new strategies for giving, but her major change tends to be learning to set limits in order to receive what she wants.”

“Because she is afraid of not being supported, she unknowingly pushes away the support she needs.”

“Fortunately perfection is not a requirement for creating great relationships.”

“Generally speaking, when a woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to help a man, she has no idea of how critical and unloving he may sound to him.”