John Gray Quotes Page 2

“Get the love you deserve and give your partner the love and support he deserves.”

“If we are to feel the positive feelings of love, happiness, trust, and gratitude, we periodically also have to feel anger, sadness, fear, and sorrow.”

“It is very difficult for a man to differentiate between empathy and sympathy. He hates to be pitied.”

“Just as a man is fulfilled through working out the intricate details of solving a problem, a woman is fulfilled through talking about the details of her problems.”

“Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.”

“Love brings up our unresolved feelings. One day we are feeling loved, and the next day we are suddenly afraid to trust love.

The painful memories of being rejected begin to surface when we are faced with trusting and accepting our partner's love.”

“Love is magical, and it can last, if we remember our differences.”

“Martians have a win/lose philosophy — I want to win, and I don’t care if you lose. As long as each Martian took care of himself this formula worked fine. It worked for centuries, but now it needed to be changed.

Giving primarily to themselves was no longer as satisfying. Being in love, they wanted the Venusians to win as much as themselves. In most sports today we can see an extension of this Martian competitive code.

For example, in tennis I not only want to win but also try to make my friend lose by making it difficult for him to return my shots. I enjoy winning even though my friend loses. Most of these Martian attitudes have a place in life, but this win/lose attitude becomes harmful in our adult relationships.

If I seek to fulfill my own needs at the expense of my partner, we are sure to experience unhappiness, resentment, and conflict. The secret of forming a successful relationship is for both partners to win.”

“Men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished.”

“Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right to be upset. Men want space while women want understanding.”

“Men go to their caves. Women talk.”

“Men mistakenly expect women to think, communicate, and react the way men do; women mistakenly expect men to feel, communicate, and respond the way women do.”

“Men need to remember that when women seem upset and talk about problems is not the time to offer solutions; instead she needs to be heard, and gradually she will feel better on her own.”

“Men need to remember that women talk about problems to get close and not necessarily to get solutions.”

“Mental chemistry creates interest, emotional chemistry generates affection, physical chemistry generates desire, and spiritual chemistry creates love.

A soulmate includes all four... and I will not settle for anything less!”

“Not only do men and women communicate differently but they think, feel, perceive, react, respond, love, need, and appreciate differently.”

“Not to be needed is a slow death for a man.”

“Quite often, when one partner makes a positive change the other will also change. This predictable coincidence is one of those magical things about life.”

“Remember, if a man needs to pull away like a rubber band, when he returns he will be back with a lot more love. Then he can listen. This is the best time to initiate conversation.”

“Sharing your problems with another person on Venus is actually a sign of love and trust, not a burden.”

“The biggest challenge for a man is translating a woman’s words if she speaks and supporting her with appropriate understanding and support for the situation and her feelings.

The biggest challenge for a woman is interpreting a man’s silence and supporting him by accepting and supporting him by leaving him the space he needs.”

“The differences and disagreements don’t hurt as much as the ways in which we communicate them. Ideally an argument does not have to be hurtful; instead it can simply be an engaging conversation that expresses our differences and disagreements. (Inevitably all couples will have differences and disagree at times.)

But practically speaking most couples start out arguing about one thing and, within five minutes, are arguing about the way they are arguing. Unknowingly they begin hurting each other; what could have been an innocent argument, easily resolved with mutual understanding and an acceptance of differences, escalates into a battle.

They refuse to accept or understand the content of their partner’s point of view because of the way they are being approached. Resolving an argument requires extending or stretching our point of view to include and integrate another point of view.

To make this stretch we need to feel appreciated and respected. If our partner’s attitude is unloving, our self-esteem can actually be wounded by taking on their point of view.”

“The man does not realize that the little thing in relation to the woman is just as important as the big thing.”

“The next time when you are frustrated with the opposite sex, remember that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and even if you don't remember anything from this book, remembering that we are meant to be different will help you be more loving.”

“The number one way a man can succeed in fulfilling a woman's primary love needs is through communication.

By learning to listen to a woman's feelings, a man can effectively shower a woman with caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance.”

“Their motto on Venus is 'Love is never to ask'. She assumes that if her partner loves her, he will offer his support and she won't have to ask.”

“To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn't know what to do or that he can't do it on his own.”

“Treat her in ways you did at the beginning of the relationship.”

“Venusians have different values. They value love, communication, beauty, and relationships. They spend a lot of time supporting, helping, and nurturing one another.

Their sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships. They experience fulfillment through sharing and relating.”

“We are unique individuals with unique experiences.”