Lily Tomlin Quotes

Who the Hell is Lily Tomlin?

Mary Jean "Lily" Tomlin is an American actress, comedian, writer, singer, and producer.

Born September 01, 1939

Best 29 Quotes by Lily Tomlin

“After all, in private, we're all misfits.”

Lily Tomlin

“Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?”

Lily Tomlin

“Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.”

Lily Tomlin

“Exercise is for people who can't handle drugs or alcohol.”

Lily Tomlin

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”

Lily Tomlin

“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.”

Lily Tomlin

“Growing up in Michigan was fine... until I realized where I was.”

Lily Tomlin

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”

Lily Tomlin

“I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.”

Lily Tomlin

“I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining.”

Lily Tomlin

“I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.”

Lily Tomlin

“If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?”

Lily Tomlin

“If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed!”

Lily Tomlin

“Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.”

Lily Tomlin

“Just remember, we're all in this alone.”

Lily Tomlin

“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”

Lily Tomlin

“Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then—we elected them. ”

Lily Tomlin

“No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.”

Lily Tomlin

“Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.”

Lily Tomlin

“Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.”

Lily Tomlin

“Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.”

Lily Tomlin

“The best mind altering drug is the truth.”

Lily Tomlin

“The road to success is always under construction.”

Lily Tomlin

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”

Lily Tomlin

“To me, sexual freedom means freedom from having to have sex.”

Lily Tomlin

“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”

Lily Tomlin

“Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?”

Lily Tomlin

"Becoming Myself" Quotes

“Sometimes i worry about being a success in a mediocre world.”

Lily Tomlin
Becoming Myself

"Many moons" Quotes

“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?”

Lily Tomlin
Many moons