Louis C. K. Quotes Page 2

“Misery is wasted on the miserable.”

“Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.”

“Now, if you're white and you don't admit that it's great, you're an *sshole.”

“Perception is created and twisted so quickly.”

“Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an *sshole'.”

“Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them.”

“Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.”

“Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.”

“The Greatest Generation gets too much credit. Those World War II guys, if they had all the sh*t we have today, they'd be *ssholes too. It's just circumstantial. It's what you're called on to do that makes you great. We haven't been called on to do anything but buy sh*t and get fat.”

“The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.”

“The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.”

“There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it.”

“There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thing. Whenever I have a big dilemma, like this is a big problem in my life, she always says, 'Wow, you're going to have to figure that out'.”

“There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?'”

“Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.”

“What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die – they just don't involve you.”

“When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.”

“When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering, I'm like, maybe we need that. Maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots clanging on the sides.”

“When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb'.”

“When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.”

“When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don't let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end up looking like nothing else.”

“When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.”

“Why am I angry? Every morning, I wake up, I open my eyes, remember who and what I am and I say, 'Yuck'. Then I go about my day, and when it’s over, I get back in bed, put a sheet between my sweaty legs and, as I drift off, looking back on a day of being this sh*tbag of a human, I mutter to myself, 'Jesus Christ'.”

“You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses'.”

“You know the only thing happier than a three-legged dog? A four-legged dog.”

“You know what, it's not your life, it's life. Life is bigger than you, if you can imagine that. Life isn't something that you possess, it's something that you take part in and witness.”

“You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.”

“You’ll be fine. You’re 25. Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don’t avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. You’ll be okay. Even if you don’t feel okay all the time.”