Mark Goulston Quotes Page 2

“One of the most important keys to getting through to anyone and then influencing them is to realize that inside everyone's mind, they listen to someone or something.”

“One of the reasons it is so difficult to break a connection to something or someone you have imprinted on is that after you imprint, it seeds into your mind and goes from working memory to stored, hard-wired memory from which it is much more difficult to sever that attachment.”

“One reason some people are long-winded is because they're trying to impress their conversational counterpart with how smart they are, often because they don't actually feel that way underneath.

If this is the case for you, realize that continuing to talk will only cause the other person to be less impressed.”

“One word that seems to connect both leaders and employees is: 'outcomes'.

Built into that word is the implicit and explicit understanding and agreement that effective actions lead to good outcomes; ineffective actions lead to poor outcomes.”

“Presence is in the eye and ear and gut of the beholder. When you are totally present in a conversation or in a meeting, others around you perceive you as totally focused on the matter at hand and on being of value to them.”

“President Reagan preached 'trickle down economics' but naively did not reckon on the fact that the wealthy would only care about getting more for themselves instead of caring about helping those with less.”

“PTSD occurs following a trauma that was so awful that in retrospect you don't understand how you survived. What that causes is an extreme feeling of vulnerability that you get past but that doesn't go away.”

“Sadly, most labor attorneys will advise you not to say you're wrong to anyone, because that might lead them to have something they can use to sue you.”

“Self-esteem is crucial to how much or how little contentment you feel at the end of your life.”

“Self-esteem should not be confused with self-confidence. Self-confidence is believing in your competence and your ability to do something, whereas self-esteem is believing in your goodness.”

“Show people a positive path that enables them to make progress on their own terms. Give them options and alternatives that empower them.”

“Something I had learned from 30 years as a psychotherapist turned Fortune 500 executive coach when helping people to calm down is that it is much less important what you tell others than what you enable them to tell you and, in the process, tell themselves that results in them calming themselves down.”

“Speak the truth. People will forgive an honest mistake; they won't forgive you if you lie.”

“Terrorism thrives when the gap between the 'haves' and 'have nots' becomes so wide and when the 'have nots' reach the point of such desperation, pain, and agony that they have nothing to lose.”

“The amygdala is like a point guard in the emotional part of your middle brain. When it is overwhelmed, it hijacks you away from being able to access your upper rational brain and think and assess what to do. It essentially disables your ability to think.”

“The crux is this: you can't be sincerely empathic towards and angry at someone at the same moment. In other words, you can't walk in someone else's shoes and step on their toes at the same time.”

“The most influential people strive for genuine buy-in and commitment – they don't rely on compliance techniques that only secure short-term persuasion.”

“There is something calming and emotionally restoring when you focus on gratitude for a known deed that helped you, instead of fear of the unknown.”

“There will always be people who think that money and benefits and even just having a job should be thanks enough. There are also those that think they do a great job without anyone having to thank them.

But study after study has shown that no one is immune from the motivating effects of acknowledgement and thanks.”

“To many in the global community, American business – especially our financial institutions – are seen as a bunch of thieves, and as the saying goes: There's no honor among thieves.”

“Very often, when you get into a conversation that's more of a debate, you'll pick up that the other person is venting at you. And when someone vents at you, it triggers a reaction. You get defensive and vent back.”

“When as smart as you think you are is as wrong as you turn out to be, your life can fall out from under you.”

“When winning is everything and everyone does whatever they need to win and to not lose, including lying, you have a world in which 'basic trust' is lost.”

“When you are continuing to be in debt or are going deeper into it, every time a creditor calls, it rubs your face not only in how vulnerable you are, but that people are out to get something from you that you don't have to give.”

“When you listen with memory, you have an old agenda, and when you listen with desire, you have a new one. You can't listen to the other person if your agenda is overtaking you.”

“Why do people who consider themselves good communicators often fail to actually hear each other? Often it's due to a mismatch of styles: To someone who prefers to vent, someone who prefers to explain seems patronizing; explainers experience venters as volatile.”

“Women work and feel like they have to take care of so many details. Sometimes they don't get much help from their husbands.”

“Yes, CEOs are under pressure from all sides, and executives have all sorts of people pushing and pulling at them. But too often, they begin to view and treat their teams, and especially their assistants, as appliances.

And a good assistant knows that the last thing their boss wants to hear from them is a personal complaint about anything.”

“You can't create more jobs for an economy where the vast majority of people are hesitant and even afraid to spend and buy.”

“You may have heard the saying, 'When you're in love, smoke gets in your eyes.'

Well when you're talking, smoke gets in your eyes and ears. Once you're on a roll, it's very easy to not notice that you've worn out your welcome.”