Mark Wolynn Quotes

Who is Mark Wolynn?

Mark Wolynn is the director of The Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, and a leading expert in the field of inherited family trauma.

Wolynn wrote the book 'It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle'.

Books by Mark Wolynn


Best 35 Quotes by Mark Wolynn – Page 1 of 2

It Didn't Start with You Quotes

“Brain scans demonstrate that many of the same neurons and regions of the brain become activated whether we’re imagining an event or actually living it.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Children with a parent who was traumatized during the Cambodian genocide, for example, tend to suffer from depression and anxiety. Similarly, children of Australian Vietnam War veterans have higher rates of suicide than the general population.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Epigenetic changes are the chemical modifications that occur in our cells as a result of a traumatic event.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Epigenetics is the study of heritable changes in gene function that occur without a change in the sequence of the DNA.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Even if humans receive supportive parenting as infants, we are still the recipients of the stress our parents experienced before we were conceived.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Everything that happens to us has merit, whether we recognize the surface significance of it or not.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Ignoring the pain actually deepens it. What is hidden from sight often increases in intensity.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Instinctively loyal, children often repeat their parents’ sorrows and relive their misfortunes.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Meditators, after only eight hours of meditation, experienced clear genetic and molecular changes, including decreased levels of pro-inflammatory genes, which would enable them to physically recover from stressful situations more quickly.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Native American youths, like the children of war veterans, like the children of Holocaust survivors, like the children of Cambodian genocide survivors, and like the children of the World Trade Center attack survivors, are among the modern world’s newest victims of transgenerational trauma.”

It Didn't Start with You

“New experiences can create new neural pathways. These new neural pathways become strengthened through repetition and deepened through focused attention. Essentially, the more we practice something, the more we train our brain to change.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Not all behaviors expressed by us actually originate from us. They can easily belong to family members who came before us. We can merely be carrying the feelings for them or sharing them. We call these 'identification feelings'.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Once a new brain map is established, new thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can emerge organically, expanding our repertoire when old fears arise.”

It Didn't Start with You

“One thing is clear: life sends us forward with something unresolved from the past.”

It Didn't Start with You

Products by Mark Wolynn

“Our very survival depends on being able to screen out potential attacks.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Our vitality — the life force that comes to us from our parents — can become blocked when our connection to them is compromised.”

It Didn't Start with You

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“The less pleasure you take in an accidental org*sm, the less likely it is to happen again.”

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“Remaining silent about family pain is rarely an effective strategy for healing it. The suffering will surface again at a later time, often expressing in the fears or symptoms of a later generation.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Researchers are now finding that our thoughts, inner images, and daily practices, such as visualization and meditation, can change the way our genes express.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Sometimes, the heart must break in order to open.”

It Didn't Start with You

“The emotions, traits, and behaviors we reject in our parents will likely live on in us. It’s our unconscious way of loving them, a way to bring them back into our lives.”

It Didn't Start with You

“The notion that we inherit and 'relive' aspects of family trauma has been the subject of many books by the renowned German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger.”

It Didn't Start with You

“The words we use to describe our worries and struggles can say more than we realize.”

It Didn't Start with You

“The worst part is that the very thing that holds us back is often invisible to us, keeping us frustrated and confused.”

It Didn't Start with You

“There is often sadness hibernating beneath your angry words. The sadness won’t kill you. The anger actually might.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Those of us who feel that we didn’t receive enough from our parents, especially from our mothers, often feel that we don’t receive enough from life.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Too often, our intentions are at odds with our actions.”

It Didn't Start with You

“Until we uncover the actual triggering event in our family history, we can relive fears and feelings that don’t belong to us — unconscious fragments of a trauma — and we will think they’re ours.”

It Didn't Start with You

“When brain cells activate together, the connection between them strengthens. Simply put, each time we repeat a particular experience, it becomes more ingrained in us. With enough repetition, it can become automatic.”

It Didn't Start with You

Products by Mark Wolynn

“When entangled, you unconsciously carry the feelings, symptoms, behaviors, or hardships of an earlier member of your family system as if these were your own.”

It Didn't Start with You

“When family members lead unhappy lives or suffer an extremely difficult fate, it’s often easier to reject them than to feel the pain of loving them. Anger is often an easier emotion to feel than sadness.”

It Didn't Start with You

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“If you don't put a value on money and seek wealth, you most probably won't receive it. You must seek wealth for it to seek you. If no burning desire for wealth arises within you, wealth will not arise around you. Having definiteness of purpose for acquiring wealth is essential for its acquisition.”


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