Matt Groening Quotes


Best 38 Quotes by Matt Groening – Page 1 of 2

“America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!”

“Batman's a scientist.”

“Books are useless! I only ever read one book, 'To Kill A Mockingbird', and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds!”

“English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.”

“Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.”

“Have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.”

“I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!”

“I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth.”

“I promise I'll do anything for you, especially if it's easy.”

“I'd be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees.”

“I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.”

“I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! 'Attempted murder?' Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?”

“I've found that child's play – stuff that was not considered serious, but goofy – was the stuff I liked to do, so I still do it as an adult.”

“I’ll keep it short and sweet – Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. ”

“Keep your expectations tiny, you'll go through life not so whiney.”

“Living creatively is really important to maintain throughout your life. And living creatively doesn't mean only artistic creativity, although that's part of it. It means being yourself, not just complying with the wishes of other people.”

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“Whoever invented spray cheese had to have been a Harvard guy.”

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“No matter how good you are at something there's always about a million people better than you.”

“Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you!”

“Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.”

“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.”

“Stop thinking about fun and have it.”

“The entire world of grown-ups is corrupt and stupid.”

“This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio, but not in America!”

“To alcohol! The cause of – and solution to – all of life's problems.”

“Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.”

“Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.”

“Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.”

“What I’ve noticed in a lot of other cartoonists is a sullen resentfulness about their lack of attention and tiny checking accounts. I vowed back in the days when I had no money that I would not allow that kind of bitterness to overtake me. Cartooning, in general, is a very solitary occupation, and it breeds all sorts of self-punishing thinking.”

“When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, here is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.”

“When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.”

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“The average person has eight different jobs over the course of their lifetime. You get a little antsy doing the same thing.”

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