Matt Groening Quotes Page 2

“You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.”

“You see, marriage is like a coffin, and each kid is another nail.”

“You toyed with my heart, like it was a toy heart.”

“You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.”

“You watched it! You can't unwatch it!”

“If you're going to cheat, do it with all your might.”

“Where do babies come from? Don't bother asking adults. They lie like pigs. However, diligent independent research and hours of playground consultation have yielded fruitful, if tentative, results. There are several theories. Near as we can figure out, it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark. We believe it is similar to dogs when they act peculiar and ride each other. This is called 'making love'. Careful study of popular song lyrics, advertising catch-lines, TV sitcoms, movies, and T-Shirt inscriptions offers us significant clues as to its nature. Apparently it makes grown-ups insipid and insane. Some graffiti was once observed that said 'sex is good'. All available evidence, however, points to the contrary.”

“Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.”