Mel Brooks Quotes

“Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.”

“Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.”

“Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.”

“Good taste is the enemy of comedy.”

“He who hesitates is poor.”

“Hope for the best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We’re unrehearsed.”

“Humor is just another defense against the universe.”

“I love mathematics! Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide our legs, and multiply!”

“I’ve been accused of vulgarity. I say that’s bullsh*t.”

“If Einstein and Shaw couldn’t beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none.”

“If God had intended us to fly, He would have sent us tickets.”

“If presidents don’t do it to their wives, they do it to the country.”

“Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.”

“Look, I really don’t want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive, you’ve got to flap your arms and legs, you got to jump around a lot, you got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I see it, if you’re quiet, you’re not living. You’ve got to be noisy, or at least your thoughts should be noisy, colorful and
lively.”

“Me? Not like the Germans? Why should I not like Germans? Just because they’re arrogant and have fat necks and do anything they’re told so long as it’s cruel, and killed millions of Jews in concentration camps and made soap out of their bodies and lamp shades out of their skins? Is that any reason to hate their f*cking guts?”

“The only thing we don’t have a god for is premature ejac*lation… but I hear that it’s coming quickly.”

“There’s a perfectly good explanation for this, which I’ll make up later.”

“Tragedy is when I stub my toe. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

“Usually, when a lot of men get together, it’s called war.”

“You got to be brave. If you feel something, you’ve really got to risk it.”

“You’re always a little disappointing in person because you can’t be the edited essence of yourself.”