Ricky Gervais Quotes

“A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.”

“As an atheist, I see nothing 'wrong' in believing in a God. I don’t think there is a God, but belief in him does no harm. If it helps you in any way, then that’s fine with me.

It’s when belief starts infringing on other people’s rights when it worries me. I would never deny your right to believe in a God. I would just rather you didn’t kill people who believe in a different God, say. Or stone someone to death because your rulebook says their sexuality is immoral.

It’s strange that anyone who believes that an all-powerful all-knowing, omniscient power responsible for everything that happens, would also want to judge and punish people for what they are.”

“Basically, you deny one less God than I do. You don’t believe in 2,999 gods. And I don’t believe in just one more.”

“Being an atheist makes someone a clearer thinking, fairer person. They are not doing things to be rewarded in heaven; they're doing things because they're right, because they live by a moral code.”

“Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.”

“Do unto others is a good rule of thumb. I live by that. Forgiveness is probably the greatest virtue there is. But that’s exactly what it is – a virtue. Not just a Christian virtue.

No one owns being good. I’m good. I just don’t believe I’ll be rewarded for it in heaven. My reward is here and now. It’s knowing that I try to do the right thing. That I lived a good life.

And that’s where spirituality really lost its way. When it became a stick to beat people with. ‘Do this or you’ll burn in hell.’ You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.”

“Ego is hilarious – especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he is or about how many stadiums he can fill, he stops being funny.”

“Even I can't talk about myself for an hour.”

“Everything I do is somehow rooted in humanity. It's always about people; it's always about ego. It's always about desperation. It's quite existential.

You know, 'Am I leading a good life?' That might be because I'm an atheist, and I think this is all we've got, so you better be nice. And have fun.”

“Fame is an upshot of what I do. If you're a successful comedian or actor, then you're a famous one. But it's not the driving force. It's a by-product.”

“Free speech is one of the most important things to me, but I think it gets confusing when it comes to offense. Because for one, just because you have the right to say anything, it doesn't mean you have to.”

“Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you've got to want it.”

“How many times have we seen reality celebrities fall from grace – often through no fault of their own – and then go on a show like 'Celebrity Big Brother' and say, 'I want to show the public a different side of me.'

And I'm screaming at the telly going: This is not therapy. This is voyeurism!”

“Humanity is a plague. We’re a disgusting, narcissistic, selfish parasite, and the world would be a better place without us.”

“Humor is to get us over terrible things.”

“I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.”

“I didn't know I was poor, growing up, because everyone was in the same boat. I couldn't have bikes. It never really bothered me, but I could have any book. I loved school; I loved learning. Yeah, I never cared for possessions. I still don't, really.”

“I don't believe in ghosts or ESP or elves... or God. But I am spiritual in the sense that I get a lump in my throat when I listen to Vaughan Williams.”

“I don't care whether people say 'The Office' is rubbish, 'Extras' is worse, 'Flanimals' is a waste of time. He's not funny; he never has been. I hate him.

I don't mind that at all. In fact, not only do I expect it, I celebrate it, because I think the haters are really important.”

“I don't do karaoke. I don't dance, even at weddings. I'm the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine.”

“I don't know why other people are concerned about other people's lives that much.”

“I don't like it when I see a racist comedian go up and say, 'What are we gonna do about all these immigrants?' and they get a round the applause.

I think: Well that's not a joke. That's just your biased opinion.”

“I don't mind what people say about me as long as it's an opinion or the truth.

If someone says, 'He's the worst comedian in the world,' that's fine. If someone says, 'His face makes me want to punch the TV,' that's fine.

But if they say, 'Oh, and I know for a fact he hunts squirrels,' I go: no, no, no... that's a lie.”

“I haven't had my teeth fixed, I haven't had a hair transplant. I haven't had a skin peel, tummy tuck. I've done literally nothing.”

“I like flying to New York from London. It's like a day off for me. No phone or e-mails. Food, wine, iPod, movies, snoozing.”

“I like the ironic pomposity of a stand-up comedian. Like all those comedians thinking they can bring down Coca-Cola. They forget to be funny.”

“I love how people walk around with crucifixes, skullcaps, pointy hats, funny beards and then say you should keep your atheism to yourself.”

“I remember asking my mum when I was about 13, 'Why are my brothers and sister so much older than me?'

And she just said, 'You were a mistake.' And I laughed.”

“I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.”

“I think all art – even one as lowly as making jokes about celebrities – is there to make a connection.”