Ricky Gervais Quotes

“A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.”

“As an atheist, I see nothing'wrong' in believing in a God. I don’t think there is a God, but belief in him does no harm. If it helps you in any way, then that’s fine with me. It’s when belief starts infringing on other people’s rights when it worries me. I would never deny your right to believe in a God. I would just rather you didn’t kill people who believe in a different God, say. Or stone someone to death because your rulebook says their sexuality is immoral. It’s strange that anyone who believes that an all-powerful all-knowing, omniscient power responsible for everything that happens, would also want to judge and punish people for what they are.”

“Basically, you deny one less God than I do. You don’t believe in 2,999 gods. And I don’t believe in just one more.”

“Being an atheist makes someone a clearer thinking, fairer person. They are not doing things to be rewarded in heaven; they're doing things because they're right, because they live by a moral code.”

“Do unto others is a good rule of thumb. I live by that. Forgiveness is probably the greatest virtue there is. But that’s exactly what it is - a virtue. Not just a Christian virtue. No one owns being good. I’m good. I just don’t believe I’ll be rewarded for it in heaven. My reward is here and now. It’s knowing that I try to do the right thing. That I lived a good life. And that’s where spirituality really lost its way. When it became a stick to beat people with. ‘Do this or you’ll burn in hell.’ You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.”

“Humanity is a plague. We’re a disgusting, narcissistic, selfish parasite, and the world would be a better place without us.”

“I love how people walk around with crucifixes, skullcaps, pointy hats, funny beards and then say 'you should keep your atheism to yourself'.”

“I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.”

“I’ve never been insulted by hateful Satanists for not believing in their devil. Only by loving Christians for not believing in their God.”

“If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.”

“If there is a God, why did he make me an atheist?”

“If you can't joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what's the point of jokes? What's the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things.”

“If you don’t believe in free speech for people who you hate, fear and disagree with, then you don’t believe in free speech.”

“If you try to please everyone you'll please no one.”

“Ignorance might be bliss for the ignorant, but for the rest of us it's a right fucking pain in the arse :)”

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth... Then he said, 'Let there be light.' Which means he made the entire universe in the dark! How fucking good is that? He's brilliant.”

“It annoys me that the burden of proof is on us. It should be 'You came up with the idea. Why do you believe it?' I could tell you I've got superpowers. But I can't go up to people saying 'Prove I can't fly.' They'd go: 'What do you mean 'Prove you can't fly'? Prove you can!'”

“It’s a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It’s the opposite. We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for.”

“It’s better to create something that others criticize than to create nothing and criticize others.”

“Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.”

“Life is an amazing gift, but it’s only a gift if you’re able to enjoy it.”

“Life is just a series of peaks and troughs. And you don't know whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out, or on a peak until you're coming down. And that's it you know, you never know what's round the corner. But it's all good. "If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain." Do you know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits.”

“Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks.”

“My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela. What a man. Incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990 and he hasn't reoffended. I think he's going straight, which shows you prison does work.”

“Never confuse your right to say what you believe with a right to never be disagreed with and ridiculed for saying what you believe.”

“No one wants to see cool people doing brilliantly. I want to see the struggle. That's the fun bit.”

“Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.”

“Remember, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing.”

“Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.”

“Saying atheism is a belief system is like saying not going skiing is a hobby.”

“Science seeks the truth. And it does not discriminate. For better or worse it finds things out. Science is humble. It knows what it knows and it knows what it doesn’t know. It bases its conclusions and beliefs on hard evidence - evidence that is constantly updated and upgraded. It doesn’t get offended when new facts come along. It embraces the body of knowledge. It doesn’t hold on to medieval practices because they are tradition.”

“Suggesting I hate people with religion because I hate religion is like suggesting I hate people with cancer because I hate cancer.”

“Take a picture, not a trophy. This is how real men shoot animals.”

“Telling someone with depression to pull themselves together is about as useful as telling someone with cancer to just stop having cancer.”

“That’s the other thing I learned that day, that the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, in the end leads to liberation and dignity.”

“The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.'”

“The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.”

“You can't censor stupidity.”

“You do your own thing and you see if you survive.”

“You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what that is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening - everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, 'I did that.'”

“You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.”

“You'll be dead soon, and forever, so have a great day!”

“Your critics want you to be as unhappy, unfulfilled and unimportant as they are. Let your happiness eat them up from inside.”