Ricky Gervais Quotes Page 3

“Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks.”

“My career, I look at it in a Darwinian framework. I'm going to do exactly what I want, and I'm going to survive, or I'm not.

I'm not going to pander. I'm not going to change things. I'm not going to do focus groups. I'll live and die by the sword. I don't care. Because I couldn't live with myself.”

“My dad was a laborer. And he used to get up at 5:30 every morning. He worked for 50 years of his life, in all weathers for, by showbiz standards, petty cash. I remind myself of that when I feel a little bit spoiled or hard done by.”

“My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela. What a man. Incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990 and he hasn't reoffended. I think he's going straight, which shows you prison does work.”

“Never confuse your right to say what you believe with a right to never be disagreed with and ridiculed for saying what you believe.”

“No one wants to see cool people doing brilliantly. I want to see the struggle. That's the fun bit.”

“People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.”

“Pol Pot – he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming!”

“Proper stupidity is fascinating.”

“Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.”

“Remember, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing.”

“Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.”

“Saying atheism is a belief system is like saying not going skiing is a hobby.”

“Science is constantly proved all the time. If we take something like any fiction, any holy book, and destroyed it, in a thousand years' time, that wouldn't come back just as it was.

Whereas if we took every science book and every fact and destroyed them all, in a thousand years they'd all be back because all the same tests would be the same result.”

“Science seeks the truth. And it does not discriminate. For better or worse it finds things out.

Science is humble. It knows what it knows and it knows what it doesn’t know. It bases its conclusions and beliefs on hard evidence – evidence that is constantly updated and upgraded.

It doesn’t get offended when new facts come along. It embraces the body of knowledge. It doesn’t hold on to medieval practices because they are tradition.”

“Sometimes being old is used as an insult, which is bizarre because, if you're lucky, that's literally going to happen to you. It's a strange thing to gloat about: being born recently.”

“Stupidity without malice isn't horrible; some people can't help it.”

“Suggesting I hate people with religion because I hate religion is like suggesting I hate people with cancer because I hate cancer.”

“Take a picture, not a trophy. This is how real men shoot animals.”

“Telling someone with depression to pull themselves together is about as useful as telling someone with cancer to just stop having cancer.”

“That’s the other thing I learned that day, that the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, in the end leads to liberation and dignity.”

“The best advice I've ever received is: No one else knows what they're doing either.”

“The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.”

“The only thing that really depresses me is animal cruelty.”

“There are no Hollywood stars speaking out for the elderly. They're forgotten, bewildered, and I don't think it's because people are cruel or don't care. It's because you don't want to think about your own mortality. I think people don't talk about it enough.”

“There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything.”

“To be fair to David Brent, he wants to be famous for doing something, for being a musician, but he's just not good enough.”

“When I was about to be famous, I feared it on a few levels. I feared it because I didn't want people to lump me in with those people who'd do anything to be famous.

I didn't like the word 'celebrity'. I feared intrusion, you know? Make me famous, and suddenly you can go through my trash bins.”

“Where there's a will – there's a relative!”

“Why buy a book when you can join a library.”