Rivers Cuomo Quotes

Why should I know Rivers Cuomo?

Rivers Cuomo is an American musician, singer, songwriter, and producer best known as the lead singer of rock band Weezer.

Born June 13, 1970

Books by Rivers Cuomo


Best 179 Quotes by Rivers Cuomo

“A man should not have to endure male pattern baldness and zits in the same life stage.”

Rivers Cuomo

“A person's 'middle age' is actually 26 to 52, assuming a life expectancy of 78.”

Rivers Cuomo

“A poorly constructed dilemma: if you had to choose between eating your favavorite flavor ice cream or worm ridden horse diarrhea, which would u choose?”

Rivers Cuomo

“After you get all your relationships in order, there's really not that much to get upset about.”

Rivers Cuomo

“All it takes is an 8 to make a 7 look like a 5.”

Rivers Cuomo

“All this struggle and you're just going to die anyway.”

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“Always assume people are smarter than you think they are.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Are gay people more likely to be attracted to themselves?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Aren't competition swimmers afraid of getting inappropriate erections in their little speedos?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Aren't grapes 'grapefruit'?”

Rivers Cuomo

“At a certain point, you just stop worrying about other guys looking at your dong when you're in the locker room.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Before humans, nothing had a name.”

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“Being a small person, I feel like I shouldn't have to pay as much for a full-body massage as a normal-sized person.”

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“Bicycles must have blown people's minds when they were first invented.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Can I get a Jehovah's Witness?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Caught my wife looking at nudie pictures of dogs and horses online.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Did Mary and Joseph start having sex after Jesus was born?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Die before you die.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Do animals sometimes forget what it was they were going to do?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Do trees ever get tired?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Do you have any idea how great you are?”

Rivers Cuomo

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“Does the superhero cape have any function?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Don't believe everything you think.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Don't bother me now, child, I'm reading a book on how to be a good parent.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Don't eat it just because it's there.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Don't tell the truth unless you don't mind being misunderstood.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Don't want to kill the ants in my kitchen sink so I'm severely bumming them out with some peppermint oil.”

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“Easy is not a word I would ever use to describe touring.”

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“Even at your best, the creative moments are still kind of fleeting.”

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“Every day as a father is a happy day!”

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“Every ounce of pleasure you have to pay back with an equal amount of pain.”

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“Everyone you see is made entirely out of what they ate.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Everyone's entitled to their own wrong opinion.”

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“Everyone's just trying to be happy.”

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“Get over yourself.”

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“Glasses are my KISS make-up.”

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“Guns n' Roses may have been the first to associate paradise with a city – with grass in it, no less!”

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“How delicious life is.”

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“How many times do you meet someone before you stop shaking their hand?”

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“I bet being born sucks.”

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“I can't wait until I die and I can stop worrying about keeping up with technology.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I can't wait until I'm old enough to wear diapers again.”

Rivers Cuomo

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“I consider myself a normal person in extraordinary, abnormal circumstances. I think if anyone were in my position they would end up acting like I do.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I decided to try celibacy because I heard it would help the meditation, and I tried meditation because I heard it would help with the music.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I didn't get as much attention as I wanted from girls as a teenager. I thought that if I became a rock star, I would finally get all that I wanted - but it didn't happen.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I do want to make music that people love, but I also want to make music that I love. I know I can't please everyone with anything I do, so I don't think too much about how other people are going to take things.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I don’t ever want anyone to think that I’m being judgmental. I gotta do everything I can do to not be preachy.”

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“I enjoy listening to the albums of my youth as much as ever.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I find that I end up liking songs if I really have an idea of something I want to write about – some problem in my life or something I want to work through. If I don't have something like that at the root of the song, then I think I end up not caring about it as much. I gravitate towards some kind of concept or idea or situation that I want to write about. Very often I have to write, rewrite and come at it from an opposite angle and I end up writing the opposite song that I thought I was going to write.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I guess there was no point in Picasso painting fish as they already look cubist in real life.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I had rock-star dreams from 8 or 9 almost nonstop. I thought it was going to be like being a God on earth: having as many women as you want whenever you want them, having super powers, being incredibly wealthy, never doing laundry. Instead I found myself in the dead of winter in Boston with a long beard, no friends and a bum leg. It was pretty disillusioning...”

Rivers Cuomo

“I hardly ever have caffeine. I tweak naturally.”

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“I have a natural instinct to feel guilty and that I’ve let people down.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I just gotta keep reminding myself: Every time I do an interview or something, my volition really has to be just to serve, to help people. Not to feel like I'm important.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I just heard an Indian guy refer to Native Americans as 'Indians'.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I keep forgetting that none of this matters!”

Rivers Cuomo

“I love being me.”

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“I love getting older, though. I just feel like I have more control over the universe – or my small corner of it, at least.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I love taking a shower at the gym with a bunch of other naked guys. I feel like I'm on a sports team.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I love working.”

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“I love writing songs. One of the toughest things is structure; it just works when you use verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge. And as soon as you become aware of that formula, you start to have a bad conscience when you write with that particular structure.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I meditate two hours a day, and every year I do one big long meditation course. I love it, and I’m really into it.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I need to schedule some unscheduled time in my schedule.”

Rivers Cuomo

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“I never did any drugs or drank or even smoked a cigarette until I was in my twenties, which is extremely rare for American kids.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I never feel guilty about liking music.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I really don’t need to suffer. I can really become a happy person and still make good music – in fact, better music.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I really want to disappear, grow a beard, not talk to anyone, not make any friends… I just want to disappear and study.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I think audiences sometimes mistakenly assume a quality performance comes from some great emotional disturbance rather than really intense concentration.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I think there is a very subtle shift from the metal I grew up on to Weezer. I think the big shift was from a minor key to a major key. That made a huge difference in how it was perceived.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I thought I was creative until I had to make up a story for my 3 year old every night.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I try to give myself complete license to do whatever I want at any time regardless of how it affects other people and I think the benefits I gain artistically from living like that outweigh the costs of, all the problems that I have with society:meaning everyone hating me.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I wish everybody had a 140 character limit when they're talking to me in real life.”

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“I wish I could have been my own parent.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I won't always tell you what you want to hear, but I'll always tell you a version of the truth.”

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“I wonder if I'll die with my glasses on.”

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“I wouldn’t say that I relax and enjoy anything. But I think my pessimism helps. I never really expect anything good to happen, so when it does, it’s a nice surprise.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I'd wager my diet is very similar to a chimpanzee's.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I'm a galaxy. I'm a universe. You're just a star.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I'm constantly fighting with my manager to reduce the amount of time I have to spend on promotional activities, so I can get back in the studio and work on new music.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I'm getting really good at inventing parent/child games that involve me lying down, doing nothing.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I've been getting bad reviews since the day I was born.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I've sold two million records, I've toured around the world singing in front of thousands of people. And there's a girl sitting across from me in English 101, and I just look up at her every once in a while and put my head back down. I'm still a pathetic fool. No matter how many records I sell, I'm never going to be in Kiss.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I've tried all different kinds of ways of living and I've discovered that this is the most conducive to creativity, acting on whim regardless of consequences. Occasionally, I'll have pangs of conscience but I try to overcome them. To me that's a small price to pay.”

Rivers Cuomo

“I’ve always seen myself as a grown-up. Since I was a little kid.”

Rivers Cuomo

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“If I say I have a 'scientific' approach to songwriting, people get bummed.”

Rivers Cuomo

“If Juliana Hatfield married James Hetfield would she take his name or insist on keeping her own?”

Rivers Cuomo

“If metal bands could spell: Lead Zeppelin, Motley Crew, Queen's Reich, Deaf Leopard, Deaftones, Crocus, Striper, Limp Biscuit, Corn, ...”

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“If you can't take rejection, you're not going to get very far in life.”

Rivers Cuomo

“If you have an original thought, don't google it, because you'll probably find that somebody else already came up with it.”

Rivers Cuomo

“If you move incredibly slowly, you can avoid a lot of life's aches and pains.”

Rivers Cuomo

“If you shave your dog, do you have to put sunscreen on it?”

Rivers Cuomo

“If you're asking God to bless the United States of America, why not ask him to bless the whole world?”

Rivers Cuomo

“If you're going to fly so low to the ground, why fly at all?”

Rivers Cuomo

“In case of famine, fat people will have the last laugh.”

Rivers Cuomo

“In many men's rooms, they place one urinal low to the ground, which is good for boys, short men, and men with very long penises.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Is it littering if you pick something up, realize it's trash, and then throw it back down again?”

Rivers Cuomo

“It could appear that I'm some kind of natural genius, but it's just a million small lessons I've picked up over the years.”

Rivers Cuomo

“It doesn't get much more intimate than holding someone's hands as they poop. Too bad these days are numbered.”

Rivers Cuomo

“It matters how you play the game and it also matters whether you win or lose.”

Rivers Cuomo

“It would be cool if we could celebrate our deathday too, if we knew it in advance.”

Rivers Cuomo

“It's easy for us to forgive toddlers because we know that their brains aren't fully developed. Couldn't we forgive adults for the same reason?”

Rivers Cuomo

“It's good to be humble. That way you don't feel so bad when you do something stupid.”

Rivers Cuomo

“It's okay to be tired.”

Rivers Cuomo

“It's possible to be ironic and sincere at the same time.”

Rivers Cuomo

“It's so hard not to be creepy!”

Rivers Cuomo

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“Just noticed the ABBA in Black Sabbath.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Killing time until I die.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Leave yourself alone.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Let's make our lives nice.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Life can't be all orgasms.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Meditation hasn’t separated me from my life and my friends and my work. It’s just made my fear go away, so I can just be that much more engaged.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Money is the world's way of telling you you're giving it what it wants.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Most of the songs I write just very directly from my life. I don't have a big imagination. Whenever I tried to write from fantasy, it comes out sounding really fake.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Most of the times I've been successful it's because I've been completely misunderstood.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Most people are incapable of admitting to themselves what it is they really want.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Most people don't understand the concept of art.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Most people don’t really need to hear a six-minute guitar solo that modulates between five keys and time signatures. What they want is a good song.”

Rivers Cuomo

“My daughter and I have matching bald spots, though hers is getting smaller and mine is getting bigger.”

Rivers Cuomo

“No matter how old you think you look now, there will come a time when you look back at your current pics and say "Look how young I looked!”

Rivers Cuomo

“Nothing sounded as sincere as Nirvana's music. It took a long time for me to accept that any other music could be good in other ways. Including my own.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Now that I’m a father, I’ve forgiven my parents.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Our lives are not just about being comfortable.”

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“People generally are not amazing.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Perhaps we could feed the world's hungry with our liposuction?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Probably the most reliable comfort music for me over the years has been Bach.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Should you wear a condom if you have a cold?”

Rivers Cuomo

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“Shouldn't it be Kanye Midwest?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Shouldn't they be called unihorns?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Sometimes when I color with my daughter I forget that the point isn't really to color.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Sweat pants are addictive.”

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“Thank God for girls.”

Rivers Cuomo

“The average person takes 491,961,600 breaths.”

Rivers Cuomo

“The bonds you make with those records when you're 14, 15 and 16, they'll never be broken, and nothing will ever be as strong as that.”

Rivers Cuomo

“The hardest, most difficult and most painful experiences in life are still ahead.”

Rivers Cuomo

“The internet has not granted us more control in relation to the record company because we're still bound by an agreement with them not to release our music without their consent. But they generally let us do what we want, anyway, so it doesn't matter who's officially in control.”

Rivers Cuomo

“The problem with being married to an amazing cook is that eating out is a step down.”

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“The reason for my massive, continued success? I have no ego.”

Rivers Cuomo

“The reason I started with prostitutes was solely to work on my negotiating skills. Once I mastered negotiating with naked women, dealing with Interscope was a piece of cake.”

Rivers Cuomo

“The sun we see is the sun from eight minutes ago.”

Rivers Cuomo

“The trick is to get your instincts to be good.”

Rivers Cuomo

“The truth is, I hate to perform. I get such bad stage fright, it makes me physically ill.”

Rivers Cuomo

“There are 9,723,349,652 battles worth fighting in life. Pick a few.”

Rivers Cuomo

“There are a million reasons to doubt yourself, but none of them are helpful.”

Rivers Cuomo

“There is never a perfect time, but there is always a best time.”

Rivers Cuomo

“There would be no rivers without the rain.”

Rivers Cuomo

“There would be no solutions without problems.”

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“There's always an excuse.”

Rivers Cuomo

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“Time heals some wounds.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Treat your wife like you would want your daughter's future husband to treat her.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Try harder.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Waiter, there's some proof in my pudding.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Was Joseph a virgin too? How come you never hear him referred to as 'The Virgin Joseph'?”

Rivers Cuomo

“We'll all be dead soon.”

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“We're all goners.”

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“What balls to name your band Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark.”

Rivers Cuomo

“What could be more natural than becoming irrelevant to pop culture as you get older?”

Rivers Cuomo

“What I am best at is reading a book and then writing a critical essay.”

Rivers Cuomo

“What's all this about a mid-life crisis? I've been in crisis since the day I was born.”

Rivers Cuomo

“When I was 15 and dreaming about being a rock star I thought the whole point of it was to get chicks.”

Rivers Cuomo

“When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Whenever I start to objectify a woman, I just think about how much her father must love her.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Why aren't there other Jews named 'Jesus'?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Why do days start in the middle of the night? Shouldn't they start around sunrise?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Why do so many baby books feature words like 'zebra', 'giraffe', and 'lion' – things babies normally don't encounter in their daily lives? Why not 'chair', 'bed', 'table', etc...?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Why was Mary a virgin if she was married?”

Rivers Cuomo

“With each step I take, I see that my ability to perform gets a little better. So until it starts getting worse, I'm going to keep moving forward.”

Rivers Cuomo

“With no faith, purely as a scientific experiment, I started meditating and watched if it changed my music. It did, but it didn’t make it more mellow. It made it easier to get into the flow of creativity.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Writing songs is easier than u think. That's why it's so hard.”

Rivers Cuomo

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“You can't be brave unless you're scared.”

Rivers Cuomo

“You can't please all of the people all of the time... but you can please an incredibly small percentage of the people an incredibly small percentage of the time.”

Rivers Cuomo

“You could give up but what else are you going to do?”

Rivers Cuomo

“You don't have to be a genius to be a genius.”

Rivers Cuomo

“You don't learn from your mistakes unless you make them first.”

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“You win some, you lose some. Such an important lesson in life and so hard to remember.”

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“You'd think Heinz would do something about that sound ketchup makes when you squeeze it out of the bottle.”

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“You'll likely get what you ask for, so make sure you ask for what you really want.”

Rivers Cuomo

“You're wrong to think you'll keep repeating the same mistakes. Every mistake is unique.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Your brain is always searching for reasons to doubt yourself; I'm pretty experienced with that.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Your mistake is thinking that your personal drama matters.”

Rivers Cuomo