Rivers Cuomo Quotes

Who is Rivers Cuomo?

Rivers Cuomo is an American musician, singer, songwriter, and producer best known as the lead singer of rock band Weezer.

Born June 13, 1970

Books by Rivers Cuomo


Best 179 Quotes by Rivers Cuomo | Page 1 of 6

“A man should not have to endure male pattern baldness and zits in the same life stage.”

Rivers Cuomo

“A person's 'middle age' is actually 26 to 52, assuming a life expectancy of 78.”

Rivers Cuomo

“A poorly constructed dilemma: if you had to choose between eating your favavorite flavor ice cream or worm ridden horse diarrhea, which would u choose?”

Rivers Cuomo

“After you get all your relationships in order, there's really not that much to get upset about.”

Rivers Cuomo

“All it takes is an 8 to make a 7 look like a 5.”

Rivers Cuomo

“All this struggle and you're just going to die anyway.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Always assume people are smarter than you think they are.”

Rivers Cuomo

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“Are gay people more likely to be attracted to themselves?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Aren't competition swimmers afraid of getting inappropriate erections in their little speedos?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Aren't grapes 'grapefruit'?”

Rivers Cuomo

“At a certain point, you just stop worrying about other guys looking at your dong when you're in the locker room.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Before humans, nothing had a name.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Being a small person, I feel like I shouldn't have to pay as much for a full-body massage as a normal-sized person.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Bicycles must have blown people's minds when they were first invented.”

Rivers Cuomo

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“Can I get a Jehovah's Witness?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Caught my wife looking at nudie pictures of dogs and horses online.”

Rivers Cuomo

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“The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself.”


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“Did Mary and Joseph start having sex after Jesus was born?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Die before you die.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Do animals sometimes forget what it was they were going to do?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Do trees ever get tired?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Do you have any idea how great you are?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Does the superhero cape have any function?”

Rivers Cuomo

“Don't believe everything you think.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Don't bother me now, child, I'm reading a book on how to be a good parent.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Don't eat it just because it's there.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Don't tell the truth unless you don't mind being misunderstood.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Don't want to kill the ants in my kitchen sink so I'm severely bumming them out with some peppermint oil.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Easy is not a word I would ever use to describe touring.”

Rivers Cuomo

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“Even at your best, the creative moments are still kind of fleeting.”

Rivers Cuomo

“Every day as a father is a happy day!”

Rivers Cuomo

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“I was under the impression that in order to be alive and to be able to create what I had in mind I had to become successful. I realised that success and pure creativity are not very compatible.”


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