Robert A. Glover Quotes

Who the Heck is Robert A. Glover?

dr. Robert A. Glover is the author of 'No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life'. Glover also coined the term Nice Guy Syndrome.

Books by Robert A. Glover


Best 70 Quotes by Robert A. Glover

“Discovering passion and purpose requires figuring out what works and what doesn't. Mature, successful people establish their own rules. These rules are measured by only one standard: do they work?”

Robert A. Glover

"No More Mr. Nice Guy" Quotes

“01. If it frightens you, do it.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“02. ​Don't settle. Every time you settle, you get exactly what you settled for.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“03. ​Put yourself first.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“04. ​No matter what happens, you will handle it.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“05. Whatever you do, do it 100%.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“06. If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“07. You are the only person on this planet responsible for your needs, wants, and happiness.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“08. ​Ask for what you want.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“09. ​If what you are doing isn't working, try something different.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“10. ​Be clear and direct.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“11​. Learn to say 'no'.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“12​. Don't make excuses.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“13. ​If you are an adult, you are old enough to make your own rules.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“14. ​Let people help you.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“15. ​Be honest with yourself.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“16. ​Do not let anyone treat you badly. No one. Ever.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“17. ​Remove yourself from a bad situation instead of waiting for the situation to change.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“18. ​Don't tolerate the intolerable — ever.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“19. ​Stop blaming. Victims never succeed.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“20. ​Live with integrity. Decide what feels right to you, then do it.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

Products by Robert A. Glover

“21​. Accept the consequences of your actions.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“22. ​Be good to yourself.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“23. ​Think 'abundance'.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“24. Face difficult situations and conflict head on.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“25. ​Don't do anything in secret.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“26. ​Do it now.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“27 ​Be willing to let go of what you have so you can get what you want.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“28. ​Have fun. If you are not having fun, something is wrong.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“29. ​Give yourself room to fail. There are no mistakes, only learning experiences.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“30. ​Control is an illusion. Let go; let life happen.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“All Nice Guys developed the same paradigm: "If I am good, then I will be loved, get my needs met, and have a problem-free life.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“An integrated male possesses many of the following attributes:
- He has a strong sense of self. He likes himself just as he is.
- He takes responsibility for getting his own needs met.
- He is comfortable with his masculinity and his sexuality.
- He has integrity. He does what is right, not what is expedient.
- He is a leader. He is willing to provide for and protect those he cares about.
- He is clear, direct, and expressive of his feelings.
- He can be nurturing and giving without caretaking or problem-solving.
- He knows how to set boundaries and is not afraid to work through conflict.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“As long as a Nice Guy is willing to settle for bad sex, he limits his opportunities to experience good sex. I regularly tell Nice Guys, "You have to be willing to let go of what you've got to get what you want." Good sex can occur only when a recovering Nice Guy decides to stop settling for bad sex!”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“As Nice Guys stop seeking approval and stop trying to hide their perceived flaws, they open a door to start getting what they really want in love and life.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“As they become aware of how much time and energy they spend trying to garner approval, they can begin living an inside-out kind of life. This means, rather than focusing outward for acceptance and approval, they turn inward. In doing so, they can begin asking themselves the important questions: What do I want? What feels right to me? What would make me happy?”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Being integrated means being able to accept all aspects of one’s self. An integrated man is able to embrace everything that makes him unique: his power, his assertiveness, his courage, and his passion, as well as his imperfections, his mistakes, and his dark side.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Beneath this facade of needlessness and wantlessness, all Nice Guys are actually extremely needy. Consequently, when they go about trying to get their needs met, Nice Guys are frequently indirect, unclear, manipulative, and controlling.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Chameleons usually don't draw much of a crowd or get many ovations.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Developing integrity is an essential part of recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome. My definition of integrity is deciding what feels right and doing it.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Do you believe that people can see your human imperfections and still love you? How would you be different if you knew the people who care about you would never leave you or stop loving you — no matter what?”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Every child's greatest fear is abandonment. To children, abandonment means death.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

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“Fathers need to take their sons hunting and fishing, work on cars with them, take them to work, coach their teams, take them to ball games, work out with them, take them on business trips, and let them tag along with them when they go out with the guys. All of these activities help boys move successfully into the male world. This process is not just limited to a man's biological sons. Nice Guys can get involved with young relatives, scouts, sports teams, school activities, or big brothers.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Giving to get creates a cycle of craziness called the victim triangle. The victim triangle consists of three predictable sequences:
1) The Nice Guy gives to others hoping to get something in return.
2) When it doesn't seem that he is getting as much as he gives or he isn't getting what he expected, he feels frustrated and resentful. Remember, the Nice Guy is the one keeping score and he isn't totally objective.
3) When this frustration and resentment builds up long enough, it spills out in the form of rage attacks, passive-aggressive behavior, pouting, tantrums, withdrawing, shaming, criticizing, blaming, even physical abuse. Once the cycle has been completed, it usually just begins all over again.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Good sex consists of two people taking full responsibility for meeting their own needs. It has no goal. It is free of agendas and expectations. Rather than being a performance, it is an unfolding of sexual energy. It is about two people revealing themselves in the most intimate and vulnerable of ways. Good sex occurs when two people focus on their own pleasure, passion, and arousal, and stay connected to those same things in their partner. All of these dynamics allow good sex to unfold in unpredictable, spontaneous, and memorable ways.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Helpless, whiny, wimpy, and needy are not attractive on a man. Confidence and self-assurance are. Most folks are attracted to men who have a sense of self. Putting the self first doesn't drive people away, it attracts them. Putting the self first is essential for getting what one wants in love and life.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Helpless, whiny, wimpy, and needy are not attractive on a man. Confidence and self-assurance are. Most folks are attracted to men who have a sense of self. Putting the self first doesn't drive people away, it attracts them. Putting the self first is essential for getting what one wants in love and life.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“I define masculinity as that part of a man that equips him to survive as an individual, clan, and species. Without this masculine energy we would have all become extinct eons ago. Masculinity empowers a man to create and produce. It also empowers him provide for and protect those who are important to him.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“I have found Nice Guys to be prone to hidden, compulsive sexual behavior. I have developed a theory that states, the nicer the guy, the darker the sexual secrets. I find this to be consistently true. Sex is a basic human drive. Because most Nice Guys believe they are bad for being sexual, or believe that other people will think they are bad, sexual impulses have to be kept hidden from view.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“In dog obedience school we learned that if you want an undesirable behavior to go away, you stop paying attention to it.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“In many ways, humans aren't much different from pets. People often behave the way they have been trained to behave. For example, if a person gives his dog a treat when he pisses on the carpet, the dog will keep pissing on the carpet. The same is true for humans. If the Nice Guy reinforces his partner's undesirable behaviors, she will keep behaving in undesirable ways.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Just about everything a Nice Guy does is consciously or unconsciously calculated to gain someone's approval or to avoid disapproval.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“List one fear that has been controlling your life. Once you decide to confront the fear, begin repeating to yourself, "I can handle it. No matter what happens, I will handle it." Keep repeating this mantra until you take action and stop feeling fear.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Nice Guys are terrified of two kinds of feelings — their own and everyone else's. Any kind of intensity causes Nice Guys to feel out of control.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Nice Guys are wimps. This may not sound like a nice thing to say, but it's true. Nice Guys tend to be wimpy victims because their life paradigm and childhood survival mechanisms require them to sacrifice their personal power.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Nice Guys have a difficult time comprehending that in general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual's life energy.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“One client, who hadn't had sex with his wife in 14 months, shared in a Nice Guy group that he was tired of listening to his wife complain about her work problems. That night, for the first time in 15 years of marriage, he told his wife that he was too tired to listen. Even though she was initially angry, later that night she asked him if he wanted to make love.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Personal power isn't the absence of fear. Even the most powerful people have fear. Personal power is the result of feeling fear, but not giving in to the fear.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome is dependent on revealing one's self and receiving support from safe people. It is essential, therefore, that men who want to break free from the Nice Guy Syndrome find safe people to assist them in this process.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Relationships are messy and there is no way to eliminate the bumps and potholes, but we don't have to make them any more difficult than they already are.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Self-respect, courage, and integrity look good on a man.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Since Nice Guys learned to sacrifice themselves in order to survive, recovery must center on learning to put themselves first and making their needs a priority.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Telling the truth is not a magic formula for having a smooth life. But living a life of integrity is actually easier than living one built around deceit and distortion.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

Products by Robert A. Glover

“The seeking of external validation is just one way in which Nice Guys frequently do the opposite of what works. By trying to please everyone, Nice Guys often end up pleasing no one—including themselves.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“There are no perfect relationships. There are no perfect partners. Relationships by their very nature are chaotic, eventful, and challenging.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“There is plenty for everyone. Everything we need is flowing by us — all we have to do is get out of the way of our own small thinking and let it come.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“To women, security means not having to guess what a man is thinking or where he wants to go. Furthermore, it means not having to take responsibility for making all the decisions and not having to take charge.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“Toxic shame is the belief that one is inherently bad, defective, different, or unlovable. Toxic shame is not just a belief that one does bad things, it is a deeply held core belief that one is bad.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“What one man can do, another man can do.”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy

“When recovering Nice Guys decide they will no longer settle for anything less than good sex, they begin to take responsibility for doing something different.
- ​They let go of the concept of being a great lover. •​They practice being clear and direct.
- ​They choose available partners.
- ​They don't settle for scraps.
- ​They decide that bad sex is not better than no sex!”

Robert A. Glover
No More Mr. Nice Guy