Robert Orben Quotes Page 2


 
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Best 58 Quotes by Robert Orben – Page 2 of 2

“Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.”

“Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.”

“New Yorkers are so impersonal, if it wasn’t for muggings there wouldn’t be any contact at all!”

“Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it's a pen that scratches.”

“Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.”

“Quit worrying about your health. It’ll go away.”

“Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.”

“Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that’s not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.”

“Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.”

“Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'”

“Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.”

“The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.”

“The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world.”

“The Playboy calendar this year has some tip-top models. Any more top and they’d tip.”

“The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.”

“There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.”

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“I like to dance, but it's not my weekend activity. I'm not a clubber.”


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“There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.”

“These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose.”

“They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.”

“They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.”

“Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.”

“To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.”

“Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.”

“Very few people ever meet celebrities. All we really know is what we read about them and the most memorable lines are jokes. That's how we tend to define what we think of a public figure.”

“We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.”

“What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.”

“What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?”

“When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.”

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“I wanted to be myself. Only myself.”


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