Steve Martin Quotes

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

“Be so good they can’t ignore you.”

“Be undeniably good.”

“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.”

“Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.”

“Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.”

“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”

“I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.”

“I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.”

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”

“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”

“I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden.”

“I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.”

“I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.”

“I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.”

“If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. There's a math lesson for you.”

“Some people have a way with words, and other people... oh, uh, not have way.”

“Somewhere in the world is the world's worst doctor and he could be yours.”

“Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.”

“The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.”

“Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”

“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”