Theo Von Quotes

“I ain’t being gay. There’s already too many gays out there! 90,000 maybe.”

“If you look at me from the side, I look like I have a little bit of Down syndrome.

And I can make that joke because I actually beat Down syndrome in 1991.

I’m in remission. Praise God, baby.”

“Lee Harvey Oswald went to our middle school. True story.

Pistol Pete Maravich lived and died in our town. So, two good shooters.”

“Now they have 100 machines for women at the gym.

When I was young they had four machines at the gym for ladies, and three of ‘em were stoves!”

“They're just jokes, people. They can't all be funny.”