Yakov Smirnoff quotes

“Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with other men. There is a three-year waiting list.”

Yakov Smirnoff

“I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.”

Yakov Smirnoff

“I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing – like showering.”

Yakov Smirnoff

“I told a friend I was getting married, and he said, “Have you picked a date yet?” I said, “Wow, you can bring a date to your own wedding? What a country!”

Yakov Smirnoff

“I was eating a lot of frozen TV dinners when I realized they would probably taste better if they were warm.”

Yakov Smirnoff

“If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.”

Yakov Smirnoff

“In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!”

Yakov Smirnoff

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”

Yakov Smirnoff

“We have a saying in Russia: “Women are like buses.” That’s it.”

Yakov Smirnoff